As I'm sure the world knows by now, Kurt Cobain shot himself in the head a week ago. Despite all the lame sell-out shit that Nirvana did, I liked their music. There, I've said it; I enjoyed listening to Nirvana. Granted, their CDs only spent limited amount of time in my player, but I do own them. And I will admit that I was genuinely upset that he did it.

I don't think that his self-styled demise should be applauded or laughed at. It's pathetic. Some could say that it is proof of what harm comes from selling your soul to the highest bidder. I think that anytime you take something that is precious to you and commodify it, it'll eventually come back to hurt you. Whatever the case, it's always sad when a person hates life so badly they opt for death. And to leave a little girl behind is probably the worst tragedy.

If people want to find a villain in this whole mess, look to the mass media's portrayal of him. "John Lennon", "a voice of a lost generation", (or my favorite) "creator of the sound and look called 'grunge"' have all been used to describe him. Maybe I'm confused but didn't he off himself, in part to finally escape this type of martyrdom he apparently kept trying to shake while alive? Unfortunately, by sticking that shotgun in his mouth, he created a media monster. And I'm guilty of it, too. I'm trying to stop thinking about it, as I'm sure most of you are, too. But I keep thinking that River Phoenix and he are going to be the James Dean and Jimi Hendrix of our generation. We are going to have to hear about this incident for the rest of our lives. Shrines and rabid fans are going to appear out of the woodwork, and I'll guarantee that the garage over which he did the dirty deed is going to be a favorite hangout spot of the "true fans" of Kurt Cobain, just like the room where Nancy Spungen died.

When River Phoenix died I was a bit surprised, but I really wasn't very upset. He was an actor, and I had never read any interviews with him or come close to understanding or feeling an affinity to him. He was doing some cool, just-outside-the-mainstream stuff that I liked, but I had no clue as to who he was as a human being. But it was somewhat different with Nirvana. I owned Bleach, followed their music, liked his bizarre lyrics as well as his voice. Even though I tried not to, I loved "Smells Like Teen Spirit." (Punk confession #3) I thought it was a riot that America was singing along to a song that no one, including me, knew what the fuck the words meant. Not since James Brown had radio listening types claimed a love for something so unintelligible.

When I saw him and his bandmates on the cover of Rolling Stone with a t-shirt that said 'Corporate Rock Sucks', I instantly thought of a girl who tries to fight and is called spunky and told "you're so cute when your mad", instead of being taken seriously. I'm not denying that he couldn't expect to be taken seriously after signing to DGC, but I'm not sure that inherent contradiction reached him. But we can be sure of what did reach him; money, alienation, asshole/thick-necked crowds, more money, heroin, manipulation, and more money.

I could easily turn this into a fable with a moral at the end, but I think everyone knows the underlying theme. It's too painfully clear that fame and fortune all come at a price. Maybe this is a beacon or warning sign for those bands who followed or are in the process of following the road to riches Nirvana did. I wonder what answer the surviving members of Nirvana would give to that question? Unfortunately, the price for all that power is shared with all those around who claim to care. Just ask all those Kurt left behind. In fact, I wonder how they will tell Francis Beene?...

"YOU'RE NOT PUNK AND I'M TELLING EVERYONE..."

On the very top of my list this month is the new LP from UNWOUND. "New Plastic Ideas" is a great album which follows up their previous work nicely. If you liked any of their others, get this!! If you've never heard of them, check them out. They are a chaotic, noisy bunch of musicians which remind me of an updated version of old Sonic Youth stuff. Guaranteed to bring a smile to your face. (Kill Rock Stars, 120 NE State #418, Olympia, WA 98501)

Next is something that technically wouldn't go in an edge/emo music column but is far to wonderful to be ignored. MULE'S new release, "Wrung" is a slice of punk & blues heaven. I saw it and took it out of curiosity and haven't been able to stop listening to it. I took it to work at my school cafe job and got all my co-workers into it. Simply amazing. Blows JOHN SPENCER BLUES EXPLOSION out of the fucking water. If you want bluesy shit, buy this instead! (Quarterstick Records, PO Box 25342, Chicago, IL 60625)

ANGERHOUSE has a double 7" (three sided ep, they call it) on Mustard Music that really impressed me. The music is fairly powerful with amazingly strong, intelligent, political lyrics. "This is not rock and roll" is rooted in anger and tackling very important topics with a pulsing beat and enlightened perspective. Very worthwhile. (Mustard Music, PO Box 581245, Mpls, MN 55406).

A real nice split 7" came out by COMPOUND RED and SANDBOX. Put out by Loomis records, it has melodic vocals, with a backing intensity that works on both sides. The two bands compliment each other very well to make this release a good addition to any collection. (Loomis, PO Box 2564, Madison, WI 53701-2564)